About

Michael Lost His Best Friend on 9/11

When American Airlines Flight 77 burst into flames at the Pentagon, Michael lost his best friend, Roger. He was d e v a s t a t e d.

Michael and Roger had planned to meet the week following 911 to repair their estranged friendship, which had been on hold for a year without any communication. They were both in great anticipation about working things through together.

When Roger died, Michael was filled with grief about his lost hopes, dreams, and expectations for restoring his friendship with his best friend.

Michael’s depression, following 911, was deep. He tried to focus on his work as an engineer and had difficulty. He began to lose sleep. He lost his appetite.

Soon, his lack of concentration at work worried him that he would lose his well-paid position. Michael didn’t seek therapy. He thought he could handle his grief on his own. He kept busy. He cried alone.

Some of his friends said, “Michael, just give it time.” Time didn’t heal his sadness. When friends asked how he was doing, he would, in a tone, briefly reply: “I’m fine!”

Michael Met Joel a Few Years after 9/11

They had chemistry. They dated. Fell in love. Lived together for the next 15 years in New York. Michael thought that loving Joel would repair the pain in his heart about his lost friendship with Roger.

It didn’t.

Sometimes, Michael would be moody, and Joel thought he had done something wrong. Michael still was deeply sad about all that he wished with Roger’s and his friendship had been different or better or more…

Michael and Joel Married in Los Angeles

Michael and Joel had a wonderful and loving group of friends at their lovely wedding.

A few years later, Joel became distant. Moody. Michael wondered what he had done. Joel wasn’t talking. They went to a few sessions of therapy, and no improvement occurred.

The sadness Michael felt about his marriage losing communication was exacerbated by the unfinished grief he carried about his dear late friend’s death years before on 9/11.

Joel Walked Out

One day, Joel came home from work and announced he was leaving his marriage to Michael and wanted out: no mediation, no therapy, no counseling. Done. Michael was beyond devastated. All his unfinished sadness about Roger surfaced. He was depressed and barely able to leave the bed in the morning. He worried yet again that he would lose his work.

Karen Was a Long-Time Friend

Karen and Michael had been friends for 30 years. Karen’s divorce just a few years ago wasn’t her choice and was very painful. On a friend’s recommendation, she chose to see a Grief Recovery Method Specialist honor herself with help.

Seven weeks later, she felt rejuvenated in a quiet and deeply meaningful way. She even felt joy at moments again.

Karen told Michael to just speak with her Specialist and see if they were a good fit… Michael trusted Karen implicitly and followed her lead. He did speak with her Specialist. His recovery began.

Michael Wrote a Testimonial

Michael completed his seven-week journey with grief recovery and wrote a testimonial about his Specialist. I am so humbled that his Specialist was me.

I had the honor of witnessing Michael’s transformation from despair to insight – and peace of mind and heart.

Michael moved from feeling victimized to fully understanding his part in his break-up with Joel. He was able to forgive himself, his husband and to move forward feeling motivated in life with a new sense of well-being for the first time in well over 18 months. He felt a new sense of gratitude for each day instead of fear about his future.

Michael worked with me about the loss of his beloved friend, Roger, as well. He was able to experience feeling complete with all he wished had been different, or better, or even the more he hoped his friendship would become. He expressed his emotions about his lost hopes, dreams, and expectations with Roger, which were cut short with the devastation of 9/11.

Michael called me not long ago to share that when we first met, he feared losing his job due to his depression and inability to focus at work. He said that his boss noticed the profound difference in his attitude each workday. That his vigorous dedication to work had returned. The upshot was his boss offered Michael a promotion.

About Me

It’s Never Too Late to Continue Your Education

I earned my Bachelor’s degree in Sociology from San Francisco State University. My Master’s degree is my greatest educational achievement. I went back to study for my Master’s in Counseling Psychology in my mid-40s. I just love psychology!

This was a four-year journey of dedication for a two-year Master’s course, because I was commuting from an hour away, paying for my books, my apartment, my coursework, and working three part-time jobs at the time to take care of all of my expenses.

After graduation, I was elated to have only one small loan to repay the state, because I had paid for all of it on my own.

When I graduated Cum Laude, my late parents were alive and well to witness the special moment!

I Found My Purpose

I am trained as a psychotherapist with 4500 hours of clinical work. However, I have chosen to work as an entrepreneur so that I may easily be of service to my clients across the nation. Eventually, I will work internationally, and so I chose my business name: Healing Hearts International!

During my 12 years of professional hospice work, I knew I had a gift for connection with grieving families.

I have a wonderful mentor who introduced me to the Grief Recovery Method. When I became certified as a Grief Recovery Specialist, I knew that this process was so profound that I wanted to facilitate it in my private practice.

In 2019, I became certified as an Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist so that I am now qualified to teach my seven-week program online.

It is both humbling and fulfilling to witness my clients’ transformations from a short-term program that has defined and empowered actionable steps.

Some clients want to know if this program has a scientific base – and it does! From the College of Public Health at Kent State University, the studies have been proven which illustrate that each individual who completes the Grief Recovery Method has changed in their knowledge, attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors about grief.

Building Blocks to Happiness

In my lifetime, I have suffered an inordinate amount of personal losses and have chosen to turn my pain into purpose.

Early in my life, I experienced emotional feelings of failure from being divorced and the need to let go of lost hopes, dreams, and expectations of that marriage for a lifetime.

Later in life, I am now married to a wonderful man, a former widower, and have experienced how loss and change can impact a loving family. I know firsthand the vulnerability of dating a widower, blending families, and creating a flourishing relationship.

I am a youthful senior who has passions for hot yoga, sushi, meditation, and spirituality.